Perimenopause Update: Testosterone, Weighted Vests, and Being Grateful for Aging

Oh hey there — today’s episode of Walking and Talking with Me is a bit of a catch-up after a little break. I’m finally back out walking, and we’ve got some nice weather for once. I’m out here without my dog today (which is rare!) and just wanted to have a real conversation with you about what’s been going on.

First, a quick update on something new I’ve been loving: my weighted vest. It’s a 16-pound vest from Zelus (LINK) l that I found through my Amazon shop. I’ve been using it during my walks and it’s been a game-changer. 

Then, I dive into what’s really been front and center for me lately — my super fun journey through perimenopause. I give you my updates on hormone therapy experience — the ups, the adjustments — from progesterone and estrogen to recently adding in a small dose of testosterone. I share what it’s felt like, what’s been working, and what I’m still figuring out.

One thing I want to really stress today: finding the right healthcare providers makes all the difference. It takes persistence. It can be frustrating. But advocating for yourself is critical, and I walk you through some of my own experiences with that too.

We also get into something that’s not talked about enough — the loss of oxytocin during perimenopause — and how that can affect us emotionally. It's real, and it’s another reminder why self-compassion is so important right now.

And before we wrap up, I talk about something that’s been hitting me lately: aging really is a privilege. It’s easy to get caught up in the struggles and changes, but there's beauty in this season of life too.

Thanks for walking and talking with me today. I’d love to hear your thoughts or your own experiences — send me a DM on Instagram! And stay tuned — I’ll have more updates and conversations coming your way soon.

Quick reminder before we dive in — I am not a doctor. This is just me sharing my personal experience with perimenopause and what’s worked for me. Please don’t take anything here as medical advice. Always, always talk to a qualified healthcare provider about your own health needs.

Episode Breakdown:

• 00:00 – Introduction and Weather Chat
• 00:54 – Loving My Weighted Vest
• 01:53 – Hormone Journey: Progesterone, Estrogen, and Now Testosterone
• 04:35 – Why Persistence Matters with Healthcare
• 05:58 – My Experience with Testosterone So Far
• 16:00 – The Role of Oxytocin During Perimenopause
• 19:37 – Aging as a Privilege
• 24:41 – Wrapping Up + What’s Coming Next

Transcript

Shana: 0:00

Hey everyone. Welcome back to walking in Talking with me. It's been a while since I've recorded because to be honest, the weather has been super shitty and it just hasn't been nice enough to talk. It's been windy, cold, raining, snowing, you name it. And so this is the first time in a while where the weather has been nice enough for me to be able to walk. And on top of that, my husband has already walked the dog, so I don't have the dog with me, which also makes a huge difference because then I don't have to stop and do Aussie stuff while I'm trying to record. So. Here we are, and hopefully I'm not huffing and puffing too much. I do have my weighted vest on and I do love my weighted vest, but when I go up hills with it, it does create a little bit of breathing things. So hopefully I can minimize that for you guys today, but we'll do our best. I get a lot of questions about my weighted vest. I got it on Amazon from a company called Zeal, it's linked to my Amazon shop that's on my art account, Shana Rucker. Art in my bio is my Amazon shop and the weighted vest that I use is linked there. I have a 16 pound vest. They say it should be about 10% of your body weight. So I chose this one and it's perfect. Could I go heavier? Yes, I could, but if you, I have a 20 pound vest as well. It doesn't fit me quite a snug, so I have to adjust it a lot. And if I do a very long walk with that one it gets really heavy and hard on my back hurts a bit. So this 16 pound one for me is perfect. So if you're looking for a vest, that's what I, those are the rules of thumb that I've been told about weighted vests. I have a few things that I wanna update you guys on today, this week, and the first one is hormone update because I know a lot of you guys follow me or listen to this podcast because you're pretty much like me. I think you're probably, if I had to guess, my audience is mainly female, probably in between 40 and 55, 60, and so we're very midlife and a lot of us are entrepreneurs and moms and probably have maybe one or two businesses or maybe even more. We're just doing all the things and all of a sudden we get blindsided by perimenopause. I've done episodes about this before, so you can go back and listen to those. And that's the reason I talk about it on this podcast is because this podcast is about all things. Just trying to get through the, this thing called life, and this is a pretty big topic right now, which I think is amazing because. Our moms and their moms and so on and so forth didn't talk about this stuff. They didn't have the support that we have. They didn't have the research that we have. And I think that we are changing the game for our daughters, which I think is amazing. So we do need to talk about this stuff, and I think as an entrepreneur and as a mom and a wife, all those things, I think that we have to have these conversations So that. Our daughter's generation and their daughter's generation can. feel comfortable talking about it and get the support and the things that they need. Because like I say, these things weren't available for our parents and it makes me sad to think about that, the struggle that those generations went through. I've talked about this before on previous podcast, so feel free to catch up over there. But today I wanted to share because I started a new hormone, I started testosterone. I finally found a doctor who would. Prescribed testosterone. It took a while. I wanna share that experience. But just to update you where I'm at in this journey, and I think this is really important to talk about too because I, I know, I wonder what other people are experiencing. I wonder. What other hormones people are taking. I wonder what kind of things they're going through and how it either was for them or, me sharing my journey helped somebody else who's just coming into this and so I think it's important to talk about it and just share your experience. Kind of feels weird just talking about, what's going on with me. But I know that in doing that, it's helping somebody else. Because somebody else is wondering, well, what will happen if I take estrogen or what happens when I take testosterone or whatever? And I will say, not everybody's experience is gonna be the same. Not everybody can take the same things I'm taking, and this is why you have to find a doctor who will help you and work with you, who is educated on this stuff. And on that note. If you are struggling to find that, please, please be persistent. Please keep going. Don't just give in. Don't just say, oh, my doctor won't do it. I guess I don't get it. Because it is and can be a total game changer for your life. You do not need to sit and suffer in this. I know people who have just suffered through symptoms because their doctor won't prescribe them for whatever reason. And it's not a technically a valid reason. It's because the doctor is not educated. Which is where I was at one point in my journey. And I kept persisting until I got a next, the next doctor and the next doctor until I finally got what I needed. And it has been a game changer for me in the sense that I don't wake up feeling depressed, sad, like I wanna cry, like I wanna crawl into a whole now I wake up and I feel, I still have symptoms. Don't get me wrong. It's not a, it's not a miracle cure by any means. But it definitely has changed the game for me. And so I think it's important to talk about this stuff because there are people out there who are suffering, who don't know that they have options, don't know what those options might even be, and they don't know how much better it can be if they can continue to persist to find someone who can help them. That's the main reason I'm talking about this shit on here. Anyways, for those who enjoy it, please stay and listen. And for those who don't, that's okay. You don't have to listen. Okay, so let's update my journey. I have been probably for the last, almost a year now on estrogen and progesterone. Progesterone first. I was on, that was the first thing I was prescribed as a quick sort of recap. Mm-hmm. I was sleeping better when I started taking progesterone. I woke up with less anxiety. I woke up just feeling more like myself. When I started to feel some of those anxiety, mood swings, creep back in. I got given estrogen. And so those two things together I have been on. 200 milligrams of progesterone at night, two pumps of estradiol in the morning, and that has kept things pretty consistent for me, and I think that's one of the keys to all of this, is just trying to have a consistent level of normalcy when you're. Because that's the hard part with hormones and perimenopause, is that it changes frequently and it's hard to even nail. Like they say, there's no blood test you can take to see if you're in this because your hormones are fluctuating, like for women all different times of the month. So it's really hard to know where your hormones are at. It's about trying to find a solution for you that keeps things as level, I would say, as possible. And that's where I'm at right now. Things are good, like I have less anxiety, I have less mood swings. I feel a little less, I don't know, like there was a period of time there where I was feeling like I just didn't belong anywhere and I just didn't know who I was and what was going on. It was a weird space to be in for sure, but I feel like that's even leveled out a bit. So yeah, that's been great. Now I have been wanting to try testosterone because testosterone, not only is it great for low libido, which I've heard that it can support that definitely something I personally have been struggling with. But it's also good for like brain fog for clarity, for mind. Health for muscle. Health for energy. Like there's so many things that it does for us and. When we are going through perimenopause, we can be low in testosterone, which that creates all those problems. So I have been wanting to try it to see if it will take things up a level for me because I've been fine. But there's definitely room for improvement and I wanted to see if this would help me feel even more like myself. Here's some fun facts, and I'm not a doctor. I might have these facts wrong. I'm going by what I've learned through my own research and what I was told from the people, the professionals that I've worked with, but that we actually make women more testosterone than estrogen in our bodies. But we just make less than men. So testosterone is a very important hormone that women need. Our bodies use testosterone. It creates testosterone. It uses testosterone for multiple different functions. And this is why we, when we're deficient in testosterone, we feel the effects of it. And so I went to see, so here's the thing. Before I went to see this doctor, I went to not my doctor. My doctor wasn't gonna gimme hormones at all. He gave me the birth control. That was it. And so he knew he was not the person to help me, so he moved me over to another doctor who did support me, and they gave me the estrogen and the progesterone. That was great. They would not gimme testosterone. So I kept doing my research, kept looking, kept trying to find a doctor who would be open to that, and I was going to pay to, because there's clinics that you can go to get these hormones where they are. I would say, I think they're nurse practitioners who specialize in hormones. And they will give you those hormones if they feel it's the right fit. But you have to pay. So you have to pay, could be 500 or more for the appointment. You gotta pay for follow up and then you gotta pay for the actual medicine as well. So I was like a step away from doing that. I had actually emailed this clinic, I was gonna go, and then a friend of mine who's a doctor, told me about a new doctor who was coming into the game. Four hormones in women and she was taking new clients. Luckily I was able to get in with her and no fee, just our regular OHIP fees. And she asked me a bazillion questions and sent me for blood work and sure enough, my testosterone was low, so she prescribed me testosterone and. I was so happy. Like it was such a relief to finally have somebody who's like listening and open and willing, if I'm willing to try, it's my body, right? Like let's try it. She told me the warnings and the risks. you could get acne, you could, if you take too much, it can definitely affect. You can get facial hair and all that shit. I was already getting facial hair, like what's a few more fucking gin hairs anyways, so, but she said those things only happen if you are taking too much and that shouldn't happen. So like the testosterone I'm taking, she said a male dose of this particular testosterone is four pumps. Every day I'm taking five pumps. Over the course of a week. So it's such a smaller dose, a like majorly, much smaller dose. So, and I haven't had any side effects like the scary ones, but it's only been about a month and a half, maybe two months, actually two months that I've been taking the testosterone at. I didn't obviously notice anything because this is the thing with hormones. Some of them, in my experience, progesterone, I noticed it very quickly how much it was impacting me. I noticed probably within the first week estrogen, Hmm, that took a little bit, but maybe a difference in the first three or four weeks. Testosterone, I've heard it can take three to four months before you really notice the differences. So I'm on month two. The first thing that I would say that I noticed would be, I just felt like the word I used, I was trying to describe it to Jason and I was like, I just feel brighter. Like I just feel like. My brain is lighter, like it just feels more, I don't know, colorful, like things just feel a little bit less heavy, I guess. So I would say that's the first thing is just noticing how much, brighter I felt and how much less, I don't know. I just had less of everything and just like the less of anxiety, less of the mood swings, less of those things. Now I will say that fluctuates. I find even though I'm not getting a period anymore, or right now, I still feel like I have a bit of a cycle. Like the, the week before your cycle you've got, you're usually pmm sing pretty hard. So I would say I still have that to some degree. So I would say that there were weeks that were better than others, but I think that's just kind of part of the cycling. But overall I just felt much better. I'll say in my workouts, I feel like I have more energy to do the work. Like there are times where I'm like, Ooh, I'll only take this weight because I'm pretty sure for those I can only do this. And then I would do like a round and then I'd get to the second round and be like, no, I think I can do more and I pick up more. So I feel like a bit with working out that there's definitely something there. It's hard to say, Because it's only been two months. There's nothing like crazy drastic. It's not like overnight. I just woke up and was like, everything was perfect, but it was definitely. It was definitely, a slight increase and I think I can still increase my dose even more if I want to. For right now I'm just gonna hang tight. But as far as the libido and all that kind of stuff, I think it's increasing a little bit. It's hard to tell I think in general I'm starting to notice more of improvement in how I'm feeling and more cognitive function. I feel like that there's definitely increase there. Again, it's hard to say a hundred percent what is testosterone related? What is, maybe where I'm at in my cycle, what, like, what is what? But there's definitely some, there's definitely something happening in a positive way. I know I've talked to some people who've said, oh, I didn't notice anything and stuff. And I said, I really do think, first of all, everybody's experience is going to be different. But the other thing is, is I do think it requires time. Like all of this stuff requires time. Because even when I first started the testosterone for like the first week, I was nauseous. I think it was just my body getting used to the testosterone. Maybe it was, maybe I just ate something. I don't know. But I feel like it was something that my body was just going like, oh, this is new. And it was just making me feel a bit nauseous. another new symptom I have is heart palpitations with a bit of a dizzy spell, which I have done so much research that is a total normal menopause. Thing, and I don't think it's related to the testosterone. I do have an appointment with my doctor coming up, so I'm gonna discuss that. But in all the research that I've done, it all comes up as part of a late perimenopause late perimenopause symptom, and I'm definitely feeling like I'm in that zone. So I am. I'm not worried. I'm just, just taking note kind of thing. And then on the positive side of all of this, actually, before I get to that one other thing, I, I researched and here's, I've been using chat GPT to research a lot of this stuff, you guys, it's a huge time saver tool for getting to the root of What something might be because it's just pulling from all of the resources that exist on the internet. And I've just, obviously you, your doctor is the best resource, but if you're just looking for some information to help you get through something I think it's a great tool and I have been, it knows me. It like my chacha, BT knows me and knows. My age, my like all my things. It knows where I'm at. And so when I ask it a question, it'll always say, well, based on what you know, we've talked about, I think this and this and this and this, and this is the studies that, it pulls up links and studies and things like that, which I think is pretty cool too. And so it's been very helpful. And one of the things that I had heard, and I did run this through HGBT, was in perimenopause, we also lose oxytocin. And it makes so much sense. When I learned about this, I just like it connected a lot of dots for me because oxytocin is the love hormone. Oxytocin is, the hormone that makes us feel like we belong. It makes us feel loved and we get that oxytocin through things like, having relationships, being in, in the presence of other people. through touch, through hugs, through,, your partner like it. It's something that gets released. In those kinds of situations. And when you're in perimenopause, the last thing you wanna do is be touched. The last thing you wanna do is have a conversation with somebody. Sometimes, like you just don't even know who you are and you feel so disconnected. And it's this like vicious circle of oxytocin is the. Is the chemical or the hormone that makes us feel loved and feels like we belong and feel like all of those things. Yet it's also what we're lacking. And so we don't want those things because we're lacking it, and then we feel like we're not, we don't belong and that we, I did a, a podcast episode on friendships and it makes sense why I feel that way with my friends, because I'm also lacking oxytocin at. And the way you create it, you can't supplement for oxytocin. Oxytocin is something that you just have to, you get through doing things and when you don't feel like doing those things, you can't create it. So you're in this sort of vicious circle of needing this, but not wanting to do the things that get to create it. So it's a real fucked up. Place to be. And I have so much empathy for people who are in this situation that I'm in and feel all these things because, at the end of the day, we're just trying to fucking get through the day and just, we're just, it just sometimes feels like all the odds are stacked against us, it can be very hard and depressing, and that's why the hormones and getting the support you need is so important because when you can get on the right things and you do the research and you understand it, it allows you to. I don't know, feel better. it's maybe not a, a solution, a perfect solution, but it can help increase, things that your level of happiness and joy and get it to a place where you can at least feel like you're gonna make it through the day, you know? And. And so it's, it's so important to, like I say, persist and get the support you need, because I'm telling you, the odds are definitely stacked against us in this perimenopause game. And, everybody's journey's different, but I think as women, we all go through it to some degree and in different ways, and it can be brutal. I don't even think my case is. The worst out there. I'm sure that there's lots of other people who are experiencing debilitating night sweats and hot flashes. Like I don't really get those that much, but I sure as heck get a lot of other things, that's why I think talking about this stuff is so important because you're not alone. your symptoms might be different than mine, but I get it. I feel it. I feel what you are going through and I'm empathetic and I hope that. By listening to me and jibber jabber on about all this stuff that you don't feel alone in your journey and that, talk to somebody, It's hard because, when you get together with your friends, the last thing everybody wants to do is sit there and talk about menopause. But I think sometimes we have to, because it's what helps us feel normal and it helps us feel like we're gonna be okay and that some, somebody's on our side,, that we're not in this alone. And. Here's the other point that I wanted to talk about today, and that is we get to age. If we're lucky enough to be perimenopausal dealing with all this stuff, that means we're still alive and, and we still have our lives. It's funny, I was in our basement, we have all these photo albums, and I was down there doing my Peloton workout and I picked up one of the photo albums and it was my grade. 12 or grade 13 graduation from high school. And this photo album was just all photos of my friends and the people that were in my life at that time. And it was just, blast from the past, right. Looking back and seeing all these people. it was nice to look at, but it was also very sad in the sense that there were people that were in that photo album that aren't here today. one of my friends died when she was 27, like. Another friend in those photos. Her brother died when he was in his forties. my brother-in-law died when he was in his fifties, and we get to go through perimenopause. I get to be alive right now. And that's a privilege that sometimes as much as it's, you know. Sometimes it feels good to complain about everything that's going on in our lives and you know, I'm not, I'm not saying that we can't do that. We definitely need to do that and talk about that and be in this, but it's also a privilege to age and it's a privilege to get a wrinkle. It's a privilege to have five extra pounds. It's a privilege to, just be able to wake up in the morning and. Have your kids and see your family and, and do all that stuff.'cause there's a lot of people who don't get to do that. And when I was looking through this photo album, I just, it made me realize like all these people, you know, all the things that have happened in our lives since that, that day, you know where people are at and what they're doing and what they've gone through and, that they're, you know, some of them are still here, some of them aren't. And it's just like, I don't know, it was just a really, emotional feeling of, I'm grateful that I am still here and that I get to deal with things that sometimes don't feel like they're fun. You know, whether it be work stuff, health stuff, business stuff, family stuff, whatever, that I am still able to be here and deal with it. That's just, just a reminder of, what's important and that we'll get through this, and anyways, I just wanted to share that piece because I thought that was important. Sometimes we feel like our problems are so bad, and then you see something like that and you realize, man, my problems aren't bad at all. Like that part, like that person didn't even get to experience life. 27 is way too young. Forties too young, fifties too young,? And so, yeah, just to appreciate aging and not be so fucking hard on ourselves. God, like when did, when, why do we feel like we have to be so fucking perfect all the time? Just try and be the best you can be, whatever that is. Wake up every day and. Just do the best you can. And sometimes that means you hit all your workouts and you eat all your fucking calories and protein, and you wear your weighted best and you're doing things like a champ. And some weeks you're just not. And some weeks you just don't. And some weeks it's okay to just not, some weeks it's okay to just not do the thing and just give yourself a fucking break, And I think it's just sometimes. We just need this little pep talk to say just enjoy your life. Don't be so fucking hard on yourself. And I know that's how I feel. Right now. And I think that's the other part of this whole late perimenopause into menopause phase that I'm really looking forward to and I can feel myself getting there more and more each day, which is the not giving a shit about so many things. There was stuff even a year ago, two years ago, that I just spent so much time and energy wasted time and energy thinking about and worrying about and whatever. And I feel like today I'm just like, why? I wish I could go back and tell that. Version of me two years ago, don't waste so much time on that. It doesn't actually matter. It doesn't matter. You're gonna be fine, everything's gonna be fine. And it's hard because we can't see it in the moment, but I think this is part of the privilege of getting older, is having that ability to, not care so much about all the things that just really don't matter. And to be able to tune in to the things that do. And I am, I'm grateful for my life and my family and my kids and all the things. And I try to do my best every day. I try to get my workouts in. I got my weight to the best. I'm wearing my eating, my protein, I'm doing the things, but I'm also having fun. And I'm also just living my life. I'm also just trying to help others and I'm trying to do the best job that I can. I'm trying to help my clients and it's not always perfect. But I'm trying and I feel good about what I am doing, and if I can, tweak things to make them even better, I will. If I can share something on here that helps make your life better, I'm always happy to share, even though sometimes it feels like I'm oversharing, but I think sometimes people like that. I know I do, I listen to a lot of podcasts who are like this, where they, like I said, Shaylene Johnson's very much like this, just talks, tells you what's happening and I appreciate that because it helps me feel normal. So anyways, I think that's it. That's all I wanna share. For right now, it's a mishmash of things, I appreciate all the people who listen to this. I do this just because I like it. I'm not doing this for any other reason other than because I feel like there's somebody out there who listens to this and is feeling seen and heard and feels like they can relate. And if that helps you,, that's the reason I'm here. And I would love to try and do more of these more often, and I hope during the summer I can, because it's much easier to get out and walk and talk. When the weather's nice, it really sucks when it's cold and windy. So hopefully there'll be more episodes coming closer together. And it's also too, when I have something to share, right? I wanna make sure that if I'm gonna spend time in your ear, I wanna make it valuable and have something good to to share with you. they'll come at whatever pace that is. So that is all I think I have for today. I actually made notes. Lemme just quickly look. Hormone update testosterone. Be persistent. Yeah. Oxytocin. Yeah. Aging is a privilege. Yeah. That's it. All right everyone. I hope that you're having a great day and thank you guys for being here. If you guys have any questions about anything that I share on this podcast or other podcasts, you can always send me a DM on Instagram. Probably the account that I'm on more is the Shayna Rucker Art. But I am also on, I am Shayna Wrecker on Instagram. Either one of those accounts. Send me a message. I'd love to hear from you. So I'll keep you posted. I'll do another testosterone update maybe in a couple months. Let you know how it's going. I I'm gonna see my doctor in May, so we'll, I'm sure with everything that's going on, she'll probably adjust things for me. I think I'm ready for an adjustment based on the fact that my cycles are starting to become so far apart. I think my body's trying to, it's trying to move to the next level, so I think that's gonna require some sort of adjustment. Anyways, it's really loud here, so I am gonna sign off. I hope you guys have a great day, and we'll talk to you soon. Bye for now.