Debbie Weiss: On Second Thought... Maybe I Can

Welcome back to the "How it's really going" podcast! 🎙️

Today, I've got something a little different for you... Back in August, I had the privilege of sitting down with one of my favorite clients, Debbie Weiss! And today I'm bringing this episode to you, and there's a good reason behind the delay.

You see, Debbie launched her very first book, "On Second Thought, Maybe I Can," in August, right around the time we recorded this chat. But my podcast took a little hiatus as you know so it didn't make sense to plop this in at that time.

But I'm back, and excited to share this inspiring conversation with you.

Debbie is a remarkable individual with a story that'll give you all the feels. She's faced adversity and tough situations throughout her life, but she's the kind of person who refuses to let anything hold her back.

Her memoir, "On second thought, Maybe I Can," dives deep into her incredible journey, chronicling the challenges she's overcome. Debbie's resilience shines through. She didn't just survive; she thrived. ✨

In this episode, we delve into the nitty-gritty of her book writing process, the launch event she hosted with 60 people, and her aspirations to make a difference by sharing her story through public speaking.

To learn more about debbie see the links below:

https://www.debbierweiss.com

CLICK HERE for Debbie's Book

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debbie.r.weiss/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debbierweiss

Transcript

Shana: 0:02

Hey there. Welcome back to the, how it's really going Rucker. And today I'm sharing with you an episode I recorded back in August with one of my clients, Debbie Weiss. And I'm sharing this now for a reason. And that's because Debbie has launched her first book just back in, she launched it actually in August and that's when we recorded this episode. But my podcast was on hold for a little bit. And now that we're back, I'm super excited to be able to share this episode with you. And the reason I wanted to bring Debbie to all of you guys is that she is an incredible person. She's one of my favorite clients and she is just had, she has just an, and it's such an inspiring story. Debbie has dealt with a lot of adversity and really hard circumstances over her whole entire life. Yet she's never let that stop her. And that's actually what her new memoir is about, which is called on second thought, maybe I can. And it's her memoir about all the circumstances that she has faced through her life and how she didn't let those things stop her. She always found a way to continue to move forward and continue to make her goals and dreams happen. Including when she was faced with the death of her husband back in January of this year Debbie talks about that experience openly and how it was. As hard as it was during that time taking care of her husband and going through all of that and her two sons as well how she was able to continue to keep moving forward and write her book as well as start her coaching business and to really just keep. Not only taking care of the people that she loves so much and go through and going through all of that stuff, which was very difficult, but also making the choice to keep her own life moving forward and not letting circumstances. Stop her from living. And it's such a powerful message. And I want to share with her, I want to share her with all of you guys. And in this episode Debbie and I talk about, she back in August did a launch, a live launch for the memoir that she wrote, as well as opening, basically opening up her speaking career, because that's ultimately what she wants to do is help people by sharing her story. And we talked about what it was like to write the book what she went through during that time, as well as launching her book and having this live event with 60 people. And all of these things going on in her life. And we share that story with you here in today's episode. So I'm really excited to share Debbie with you today. Buckle up. Here we go.

Debbie: 2:52

Hey Debbie. How are you? Good, Shana, what

Shana: 2:55

about you? I'm good. I'm super excited to have this chat with you because we've been on a journey together for quite a while. I was actually saying this morning to a friend of mine I was saying, she was asking me what I was working on this week, and I was saying your stuff and, oh no. Actually, you know what it was Heather was at my paint night last night and she was one of your

Debbie: 3:13

beta readers.

Shana: 3:14

She saw my story and she was at my paint night last night.'cause she's from my hometown, London, Ontario. And she was like, I read her book and she loved it. And I was like, oh, Debbie's been my client and I, and when I was saying how long you'd been my client for, I wrote two years. And I was like, holy smokes. It's been two years,

Debbie: 3:30

almost two years. I know's. Crazy. I can't even, that's crazy. Believe it. Either's. That's why every time I talk about you and like I said, it's so strange that we haven't met, but it doesn't matter that we haven't met. So quote unquote in person you are my partner in this whole thing. I feel like your name should be a co everything on everything that I do. It's like she's a poor behind the scenes

Shana: 3:53

person. No, you've done it all. You've done it all. I've just been here to guide a little bit, I guess you could say. So more than that, let's start. Let's start there. Okay, let's start where, because I wanna share the journey of you deciding to write the book and then this book launch, because there was, there's just so many pieces and parts to where you got to today, like where now you're a published author, your book is for sale, everywhere books are sold, which seems so crazy to say that. Yes, it does. And like you're on Amazon, all the things. But it wasn't like, it was just super easy to get there. And so when we met you were actually going down a different path. So why don't you just maybe start with a little bit of that

Debbie: 4:35

story. Yep. So I was going down a different path that I had. Just formulated because I had joined Fast Foundations. Yes. And I walked into this world of all these coaches and different ideas of things I didn't even know existed. And I had joined thinking I was going to start selling a product, a network. Marketing deal. And when I joined, I was like, this is not. This is not meaningful. I want something meaningful with my life. What am I was really trying to explore what's my purpose here. And caregiving. That's the story of my life. That's an overarching theme of my life over 40 years. So when we met, I was interested in starting a business, trying to help caregivers. Learn self-care. Yes. And that's how we met. And that was November of 2021.

Shana: 5:33

I know. I was gonna say it was November. I remember that. Yep. And at that time I was helping coaches establish themselves online and get their businesses up and running and figure out their programs and all that kind of stuff. And so I remember that'cause you had. Come to the table with our coaching, with your branding, you had there was a lot of things that you had already in place when we started working together, and I remember. And this is my perspective of our time together in that first, I would say six to seven months was you really struggled with it. There was like, you knew you wanted it, but it was like, it felt like it was so hard to put together. Does that make, does that sound familiar or how did you feel about it? There was just like, I felt like we kept running into roadblocks

Debbie: 6:17

with it. With, I think for me in the end I think we ran into roadblocks because I realized, yes, I wanna help caregivers, but it was difficult because I was in a place personally where I couldn't take on other people's problems, so to speak. And that was never my intent. It was not to talk about, Their caring journey, caregiving journey, but to talk about themselves and how to prioritize themselves. But of course, You've gotta share your caregiving journey, it's not in a vacuum self-care. And I think that's something that I didn't realize that I just could not handle at that point. So maybe that's why we kept running into roadblocks. Oh,

Shana: 7:06

I totally believe, I believe that when you keep doing that or something's just not fitting, there's a reason, like it's, you're, you were meant to take this other path. But the thing is that sometimes we have to. Do the thing that's maybe not right in order to get us to the thing that is it's like I spent I don't know, eight years in network marketing, which I loved at the time, but that's not my life anymore. But that's what led me to online entrepreneurship and business coaching and all of this stuff, right? So I don't, it's not, it's never wrong and it's never a waste of time. It's just what you had to go through in order to get to where you are today. And I think that's why it wasn't working was because, Where you are now, look at how I feel like everything's sure it's not easy but it's coming together. There's things that are happening a lot faster, smoother than when you were going down the caregiving road.

Debbie: 7:59

And you always reminded me when I. Something wasn't working or hitting a roadblock, and I'd feel so defeated and you are so great at always reminding me it happens for a reason and that's okay, we're gonna use this feedback and just always keeping me grounded and I see some of my fellow initial fast foundations. Comrades. Did they? They were like me. Many of them had already established businesses, but those that didn't, it's hard. It's hard to keep going. One, there's a financial investment, there's a time investment. And you think, okay, I gave it a try, I'm done. That roadblock means this is not for me. And I think that it's like writing a book. That's where people just turn around and retreat.

Shana: 8:53

And I think that there's two sides to that because I often, as a business coach, I've had people come to me being like, should I quit or should I keep going? And to me the answer is, do you want to quit? I know it's not working for you right now, but does your heart still say, no, I still wanna keep doing this because if it's not working and your heart feels that way, then to me that means you just gotta keep going. You gotta find another route, you gotta find another way. You've gotta there's other things you can do, but if you, if your heart is just I'm just not in this anymore. I just don't, this doesn't feel good for me anymore. I don't wanna do this anymore. That's a different feeling, and so it's like picking the road, like what, how do you actually feel about it?

Debbie: 9:33

No, and I agree, and that's something that you said to me that helped me realize, okay, I am quitting this caregiver thing. I think what I meant was, Quitting it all. Quitting, being in search of, okay, it's not this, but then what? That's really what I meant. Not necessarily quitting that one thing. Just the journey. Quitting the journey. Journey.

Shana: 9:54

So it's again, but that's even still comes down to, do you still have that drive to, find your purpose in maybe whether it's in entrepreneurship or volunteering or whatever, or do you just wanna just. Live your everyday life day in and day out, same sort of thing. And not even try. And it's I always am for the get out there and do different things and find your way. Everybody has their own thing. I, once you like, how did you go from, what was the leap from, okay. The caregiving coaching piece isn't for me to, I

Debbie: 10:28

wanna write a book. I think people were. Including yourself. We're always saying something about writing a book. I had also gotten to a point where I thought, I wanna be a speaker. I wanna speak and share a message. And the writing of the book made sense because that's, One way to share a message, and then from there, that will help you get out there and share your message with more people. Something that, I'm not sure if I ever told you this or not, and I've never said this out loud, so other people kept saying, always you should write a book. You should write a book. Around the same time, I did two things that were so interesting. I had I met with an astrologer. Somebody I never met. Oh, you didn't tell me this. No. Somebody I never met with before. Actually, I was giving, I wanted to give the girls at my insurance office something unusual. My friend came up with the idea of having them have a reading and I didn't know anyone. And I looked online, whatever, and I thought, let me meet with her first to make sure before I spend She's legit. And she said to me, You're, and at the time I was talking about speaking and she said, she said, but you are meant to, you're gonna be an author. I was like, what? She said, you are gonna be an author. I said other people have put that idea in my head, but I was not a believer and I had no idea how even to go about it. And she said to me, buy this book. Whatever the book was, it was like a simple book about writing. Okay. And I bought the book and I think I probably read a quarter of it. And then maybe two months later I met with somebody I knew through locally through networking. I think I went for her to her for Reiki, I don't know. And she said, oh, let's read your cards. And what do you think kept coming up? Book. You're an author, not one book, many books. And I thought, okay, this is one of those times where you need to listen. To what the universe is telling you. And not just chalk it up to coincidence or whatever. And honestly, those two things made me think I should do this. And then when I was listening to a podcast, I that I don't listen to all the time. And I heard Lauren from Burning Soul Collective. It was like, I knew this woman. I didn't know this woman. I felt like I knew this woman. And she helped first time authors. And I was like, oh, come on now. Seriously, I'm getting like people the world is screaming at me. And then when I met with her and she was launching a course, it was like, this is just meant to be, and I'm gonna give it a try. And you listen. Even at that point, I didn't believe I was gonna do it.

Shana: 13:22

Cause I remember it's like you were always like I just don't know how to start this and what do I it's I don't even know what to do with this. There was a lot of like unknowns and then it was just like, just start writing. Just start. Just write a, write about something in your life and just go put it in the computer and see what happens. It's funny because I always tell the story about the feather of the brick in the Mack truck. It's a story that's not mine. I did not create this. I actually learned it from a woman named Karen Kenny. But the feather the story goes is first you get the feather. So it's the little whisper in your ear of Hey, maybe I could do this. And if you don't listen to the feather and you keep ignoring it, you get the brick, which is the brick is usually something that. Forces you into looking at the thing. And it's not usually, doesn't, usually it's not, sometimes it's a not a great situation that kind of moves you into it. And then if you don't listen to that, then you get the Mack truck. And the Mack truck is usually a situation that forces you into the direction that you're supposed to go. And so I always say it's so important to listen to the Feather because you don't want the Breaker, the Mack truck, and you listen to the feather. A hundred percent. I did. And I think that when you do listen and you start to take that step, like you don't need to know how, you don't need to know. You didn't need to know every single thing about writing a book to start. You just needed to get started in hiring Lauren and just getting your getting into it a little bit. And then it just started to come together.

Debbie: 14:49

You know what, though? I started and this helped my belief, I, something else I listened to, they were talking about the importance of freeform journaling, I'm gonna call it. Something that always scared me looking at a blank page. Once I started journaling, which for so long I didn't want to, I was comfortable with prompts. I can answer these questions. That is enough to look at. A blank page was intimidating. And I said, okay, I've never tried it, so why am I putting down something I never tried. I just assumed I couldn't do it'cause it was intimidating and I was, I. Surprised at how easily I did do it and how while I was writing, my mind took me to so many different places. I was like, wait a second. I started at a, and I wound up at l how did this happen? And I think then I realized like the power of writing. And that helped as well.

Shana: 15:52

And then so you started writing, you started putting thoughts into your computer. You started cause you're, I, from what I remember with writing the book, you didn't write it in order. Like you were just like getting stories from your life out of your head and then it started to form into the way it is now or how did that

Debbie: 16:12

look? Honestly, it was Lauren's course because I. I don't remember. I think I did start to write a couple of stories, but I didn't understand, and this was a roadblock for me. What is the structure? What is this book gonna look like? I have to understand it. And it took me a while, I kept writing, but she gave me the format or the format outline to choose from. And then her course took you through a series of thoughtful exercises that helped you formulate, but even after that, I just wasn't sure once I had everything outlined. Oh my gosh. It was such a relief because I remember I. I used Google Docs and I didn't even know that you could like make an outline and how that whole worked, but you could, and then every time I opened my computer I would see on the left hand side the outline with the chapters listed, but blank. So you said to fill the blank and then, I'd be like, okay, let me take a look. I feel like telling this story today, or and that's what I would do. It took me a while'cause I thought I had to write it in order, which was so stupid. Like why? But anyway, that was freeing when I realized I didn't have to do that. Cause then

Shana: 17:30

because you're writing from a different place, you're writing from a, Hey, I wanna write this story today, versus, I have to write this story today. Exactly. Which is good. Which is good. And then so I. Once you got,'cause I know there was a lot going on in your life at the time. Obviously we're very close. We talk every week. Just share a little bit about how that was for you as like how to how do you get something like that's, to me such a big project done and you did it like with the timings and all the things, but yet you had still so much going on in your life with Gary and your kids and everything. So how did you mentally get through that? How was that for you? What were some of the tools you used to help get

Debbie: 18:12

through that? For those who don't know, but anyone who typically listens, I'm sure you know that my husband at that time was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer. I. And we didn't know what his life expectancy was and he was there was no cure, but he was going through chemo and he was hospitalized a lot of times for a lot of different things. And luckily, one of the reasons I was getting the astrologer for my insurance team is because they gave me, they just handled everything. I didn't have to go to my office. So I also found myself in a different situation because I was home all the time. And. I when he was diagnosed and then Lauren's course came up and I thought this is ridiculous. How can I even think of taking on a project like this? And I actually spoke to my therapist, I remember, and I thought, okay, she's gonna confirm that I'm nuts and I should wait. And then she said, oh no, I think it's great. And I was like, really? She said, it's gonna give you something of your own. Something outside of this really difficult situation and life that you're living. And she was right. So the tools, honestly, I use, since I had so much more time to be home. It gave me time to like really meditate every day, journal every day. I started doing some breath work that I had never done before that I found really powerful to do before I wrote. It was amazing, but I had the luxury of time. Now, I couldn't just say, okay willy-nilly. Obviously there was a lot going on in my life, but luckily I got up early. I got up at five o'clock in the morning. To do all those things before my husband got up, the other thing I did was every day in a calendar, I scheduled an hour of writing time. And even when my husband was awake and downstairs, as long as he was taking care of, I'd say to him, I'm going to my room. I'm going up there for an hour. I have a meeting. He didn't know I didn't have a meeting. And only call me if it's an emergency. And I did it. I stuck to that.

Shana: 20:35

There's discipline involved in that to keep that going. Yes. And I think you're right. I think that was a savior for you because like you could totally go into just being caregiver, and that could be probably overwhelming and feeling like that would be an energy drain for sure. It's almost like this gave you that little bit of extra energy to get through it all. I love that. Did. And then, so the book is done, and. Now you have to share it with the world. And so how did you decide to, I know you did the big launch and you had the big event. How did you get to the place where you decided that's the way you wanted to do it? Were there other ways to do it? What made you wanna go and

Debbie: 21:16

do this? I think after such a difficult time in my life, I needed a celebration. I. And what better reason than to celebrate this accomplishment? Because it is a big accomplishment. And I think, I don't give myself credit for that. I listen to other people and I feel like, okay, so no big deal. But no, it is a big deal and I need to celebrate that. And so that was the reason for the big celebration. And it was everything that I hoped it would be. It was a wonderful night.

Shana: 21:54

It was awesome. I watched the live stream. Your boys were amazing. Your brother was there, he was hilarious. Like you guys just had and really that was your first sort of big opportunity to be a speaker.'cause you did speak, like you had a whole thing that you shared that night. And how did that feel? Nervous

Debbie: 22:11

when I first started because I was winging it. But once I got talking, then it was fine. I love the feeling of looking out into the audience and seeing people connecting with what I'm saying and getting that feedback afterwards. And hearing that something I said resonated with them. It reminds me, That's the whole reason that I'm doing all of this. In the first place. Like sometimes you get so in the weeds about what you're doing. You need that reminder of the overall big why, the big vision, which is to let other people know. What I found out, I feel like at a late age. That you just don't have to go through your life in, I don't wanna say drudgery.'cause not, no, not, I don't mean that. You have control. You have control.

Shana: 23:08

Cause a lot of people live their life in the way that they feel like they don't have control. And so they just, they re they react to life versus responding. And so your message is really powerful because it does literally wake people up to the fact that they do have choice and that they can choose to respond differently and that can lead them to having a completely different life, much like your own. Two years ago you would,

Debbie: 23:33

oh my gosh, you're a podcaster,

Shana: 23:35

a speaker, and an author.

Debbie: 23:36

And you know what the thing is that even before any of those things happened, and before whatever is next, the biggest change is waking up every day excited. Excited about, What I'm gonna do, who I'm gonna talk to, there's drudgery involved. Sure, there's tasks I don't wanna do for sure that I procrastinate about, but it's bigger than that. It's just excitement, I think. Excitement of what's to come and what am I doing now that's going to create the future that I want. The next thing I'm doing it. And it's a great way to

Shana: 24:17

live. I remember you telling me about a meditation, and in that meditation you had a visualization of you being on stage and your boys were on stage and you were at you were speaking and they were there and you had this like feeling This was what I want and that's seriously what's happening to you now? Like we have we've got a speaker page for you on your website. We've got your speaker sheet. So when people wanna hire you, we've got everything is lining up. It's all coming together. How does that feel? I. It's

Debbie: 24:48

so funny you should say that. I don't wanna say I forgot about that, but I guess I haven't thought about that in a while. And actually I had that visualization during a breathwork session right before I went to write. And it was so strong. It was so strong. And people were saying to me when they watch my boys, so Sam, my oldest one, he's always been outgoing. He's the performer. He doesn't get afraid of standing up there. But Ben, Is not. Or has not been in the past. Very timid, shy, doesn't put himself out there. And so many people said, Ben shocked me. Ben shocked me with his poise and confidence. You could tell he felt so comfortable up there. And, in, he had to take a public speaking class in college and after the class he was, I guess really good. And he was asked to like, I don't remember. It's not a teaching assistant, but it's something else. And he did. He didn't wind up doing it. But the fact is, I think they were both meant to be up there speaking as well. And I think that came through that night. And so you saying that is a great reminder because hopefully they are on this path with me as well.

Shana: 26:08

They were fun to watch the two of them, like just going back and forth with each other. No, that's amazing. And so the book launch is done. The book is out there. What is next?'cause I know you've got, I know we've talked about doing some coaching, we've talked about speaking, we've talked about. So tell us a little bit about what's coming up for you now that this is we're post book launch.

Debbie: 26:31

All right, so first let me say that. We communicate when we don't see each other, we communicate via Voxer, a talking app. I don't know if it was that. I think it was that night after it was over, you left me a Voxer and said how great it was and everything, and you're like, okay, tomorrow's phase two. And I'm like, oh, for God's sake, Shana, give me a minute to breathe. Can I take a couple days before phase two? Nope. Right back to it. So I didn't tell you this. So I'm putting it out there. I actually recorded a podcast interview yesterday and put it out there after it happened. I was taking a shower yesterday. Always thinking okay, what's what is next? What is next? And first of all, promoting the book and getting out, getting that out there is an ongoing thing. So that is not, I'm not by any means done with the whole book thing. But I was thinking to myself yesterday maybe. Maybe I can. Maybe it is my next book is a how to, because here was my book hopefully inspiring people to take a look at their own lives. And something that I struggled with when writing this book is what is the difference between, and I had no idea. Is it a self-help book? Is it a memoir? And there are differences, and was I going to put in something in this book that people, tools that people could use? And in the end I decided, no, it would take away from the story. Now I'm thinking maybe that's book number two. Maybe book number two is you know, Sharing a little bit more and then sharing some of the specifics. How to. How what do you think? What do

Shana: 28:23

you think? We've talked about,'cause I know we, the book we had said should there be like journal prompts, a workbooks or there like a workbook that goes with it. And I've seen that with a lot of people who I know have written books that have a book, number two that has still some stories, but then more of the how to and then some instructions and things like that. And I think that's a great idea to accompany this book. I think that's amazing. I think that people would like that.

Debbie: 28:48

And then the bigger vision that came to me in the shower yesterday, because I keep going back to kids. I feel like I, I so desperately want to help kids. And specifically in my mind it we're, it I visualizing me as a little girl who was a chubby, insecure little girl, and that girl is my target. But it is broader than that. And I'm looking maybe it's a, maybe I can series for kids. And maybe it's taking whatever I create as a workbook or how to or self-help, whatever for adults. And then morphing that into something that's kid friendly and understandable.

Shana: 29:35

It's like you learned these lessons when you were 50. It's like, how do you instill these lessons? Sure, maybe not at three or four, but at like even in the my son's 13, like he's starting to develop his habits in life and his thought patterns and things like that. And so to be able to help kids. Discover that on second thought, maybe they can and believe in themselves and have the courage to do the different things. I think that's a fantastic idea. I love that idea.

Debbie: 30:04

That's what I planned on talking about today in our session. One of the things, one of the things,

Shana: 30:08

and I know also I'm from thinking from the speaker side of things, often when you are hired as a speaker, it's to I know in my years in network marketing, they had all kinds of different motivational speakers that came in to speak. And they all had those sort of lessons, the how-to lessons kind of thing tied in with their talks. And that's why they were hired because we, as the listeners were looking for nuggets of information that would help us grow and develop. And so I think that's a perfect accompaniment to your book. So

Debbie: 30:38

I guess that's, and it's already it's already, those nuggets are already written into my keynote. I didn't deliver that at my book launch. But they're already there, so to just flush them out and makes sense.

Shana: 30:53

Absolutely. Awesome. I love this, Debbie. I'm super excited for you and I'm grateful to be on this journey with you and watching you just totally evolve and change and just do all of these things like it's awesome to watch. So thank you for letting me be part of this with you, and I'm excited to see.

Debbie: 31:12

All the things. Please. I, like I said, it's, it wouldn't be, it's our journey together. I tell everyone and it is, so we're doing it.

Shana: 31:21

We're doing it. All right, babe. We're doing it. Thank you so much and I'm excited to to share this with your audience'cause I want them to know all the cool things that you're doing and working on.

Debbie: 31:31

Awesome. Thanks Shana. Good stuff. Hey, bye bye. Till next time.